"Love" with the sick minded. (H original)

"I would never hurt you."
We've heard it, time after time.
"I care about you so much."
At first we believe, but after repetition trust diminishes.
One after one we fall a victim to illusion.
The heart follows blindly till numbing coats itself around it.
All our trust lives between our bond, you define our trust in others.
Your hands take hold, and grip tightly, beginning to squeeze.
It hurts, your cold hands paralyze us- Physically, emotionally.
As if we weren't hurting enough.
"I still care about you."
The imprint of the grip still creased deep in our hearts.
Selfishness creeps behind your smile.
This is about pleasing you, it always has been.
We never want these things,
We never want to date these people, or let our friends...
The Rapist
The User
The Cheater
The Abuser
The Liar
The Alcoholic
It's not our fault!
This is YOUR personality, not OUR bodies "begging" you to ignore the words pouring from our mouths.
It's not always about what's best for you.
We live every day after, thinking about things you did to us, things we don't want to experience again... let alone the first time.
The trust thins for everybody, and the good ones wonder why we won't trust them.
"I would never hurt you."
They say.
"I care about you so much."
They mean it, and we'll never know.

Friends to Family (H original)

                40cm of snow falls to the ground and covers the entire campus. Not only was the university comforted by the white blanket, but as were all routes leading to it. The university called a snow day for all. Grown adults were more excited for a snow day than they were when they were younger, there was a new magic to a university snow day. All your friends were around, you had no parents to check in with, and you were old enough to get and have alcohol, a new kind of snow day.

                Old traditions stayed true as well though, Hayley spent her day off with a blanket wrapped around her, a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, and with a Disney movie on she let the day roll on as is. Nothing could beat the tradition, it was thought but as the day continued rolling, the university snow day magic began. Off to the mall Hayley went with a few friends for an adventure to find a crazy carpet for some late night tobogganing. Unfortunately those crazy carpets were not acquired, but instead alcohol was.

                When the trio made it home they discovered there was no need for a crazy carpet anyways, for their residence had stolen cafeteria trays for the purpose of tobogganing… or taboozing for some. So down to the common room they went to share some drinks, stories and  treat themselves to some adult snow time fun. As the stories died down an argument and agreement emerged; if the girls could paint a good male friend's finger and toe nails, they would go to the bar the next night where he DJ’d.

                It had seemed like forever before they had finally made it outside to hang out with everybody. Hayley had been completely annoyed with how long the nail painting process took, so as soon as she was outside it brought instant happiness. What helped was a particular good looking fella, a kid she knew hardly at all, ran up to her and tackled her into the snow. Hayley had longed for some guy friends since she went to school and finally here they were. She returned his tackle and for the rest of the night it went back and forth between them. The whole group covered their dons window with snow then trekked over to the small hill that was planned for tobogganing. A few people were drunk and still drinking, one of which was Hayley’s roommate. She called Hayley over,

 “I LOST MY LEGS!” She yelled, and insisted Hayley to help her find them. After they were found and the group grew tired and cold they all went back inside. Hayley, her roommate and another made their way up to their room to grab some hot chocolate and warm clothes. When they returned everybody was in the good male friend's room again getting ready to watch ‘Brother Bear.’ As they all got cozy and the movie was on, slowly people started to leave, as that happened a game of truth or dare began. As always it didn’t stay that way, but transformed into a game called spill, a game Hayley was much too familiar with. They all learned something new about each other and bonds became stronger than before. Now with questions being passed back and forth Hayley was just waiting until one asked her if she was interested in their mutual friend. There had been small drama between the friends about that subject a few nights prior. When the room was loud and nobody was paying attention to the girl's turn she turned to Hayley.

“Do You like him?”

“No.” Replied Hayley bluntly and to the point. She was trying to show that what she had with him was a friendship. Even if the girl posing the question chose not to believe or that he felt otherwise, Hayley described it as no.

Questions continued but eventually it transformed again, this time into a ‘say something nice about everybody in the room’ conversation. So one by one they were centered out and the circle would take turns saying wonderful things about one another. When it got to one friend being centered out and Hayley's roommate talking, Hayley’s eyes filled with tears while the two males in the room tried to intervene and make sure she wasn’t hurt. The roommate had told the girl that she was her best friend, and though Hayley thought she was playing it cool the room felt the tension and the hurt fill the room. As the tables turned and her roommate got centered out Hayley decided to basically say the same thing about her, that she was the only one she felt was an absolute true friend. Her roommate didn’t return those words but others, ones that were still great but nothing in comparison to what she said to the first girl. Hayley got over it and with the game over, they all went to bed.

  Despite the words that did a lot of hurt, the snow day had made a lot of connections. People went from strangers to friends, and from friends to family. For once Hayley felt like she had some real friends there, ones that did like her and the company she brought. Though the feeling went short lived the magic and memory of that snow day would always shine bright with Hayley. 

It's Good to Be Transitionally Home (G Original)

What is this

Aech Oh Em Ee

Full stop

Ever changing. day by day, an ellipsis from one town to a city to the mouth leading down a country road

Change me.

Like a flurry of strong weeds

Sprouting fast

Digging deep

Clenching its talons everywhere

It clings! clings! clings!

Soaking up liquid through each and every pore

Ellipsis
(Breathe.)

Eff Eh Em Aye Elle Why

Ellipsis

Why.

Eff Eh Em Aye Elle Why

Aech Oh Em Ee

(suck breath in)

Hold.
Release.

Ellipsis

People don't always come from the same blood, nor the same place

Like churches sharing space

Like tomatoes and potatoes

We are -

(breathe in)

We are?

Awkward/not awkward/beautifully blessed

(Release)

Ellipsis

Looking less

Transitioning always

Big fat juicy heavy-duty Impact

Returning to find

Things have moved on and no things look the same

Uh oh, maybe I've changed.

Can I help?

"Your mind will be broadened"

But this is my home

Now I'm a visitor

Now I can't imagine
Can't imagine how it would be like if I hadn't left

Aech Oh Em Ee

Oh You See Aech.

Oh, you see Aech?

Ohyouseeaech!!

But oh so good to be

To be.

To be transitionally home.

Ohyouseeaech

No longer part of the fabric

A pair of red glasses peering into the fishbowl
Nose pressed and warming up the glass

(Breathe)

Ellipsis

Eff Eh Em Aye Elle Why

Why grow?

Potato envy.

Deep, dark, snuggled in safety.

But

(Ellipsis)

So much beauty out there

The sunshine lulling me to sleep in its sparkle

Softly soothing the surface of my skin

Beauty is extravagant

Beauty is risk

How can I not Follow

How can I resist expanding my mind?

Ellipsis

Oh You See Aech.

A place of belonging constant goodbyes, hello(s)!

Breathe.

It's good to be transitionally Aech Oh Em Ee with Eff Eh Em Aye Elle Why

Home Family Transitionally
On the phone, on the bus, on the train, online.

Kilometres apart

In person.

Finally.

(Exhale)

Full stop.

~ G

Foundations (H original)

Though we are lost we still find a connection,

Through faded memories we’ve kept in collection.
Me, not afraid of the same old affection,
You, putting down all shields of protection,
Giving our friendship no sign of rejection.

Our memories fester like some kind of infection,
I would go back, if in any direction. 
Facing today with some sort of confession,
Friendship is better than total disconnection.

Happiness pours from the distant reflection.
The foundations of friendship, mastered to perfection.